Compliance

There are two ways I deal with noncompliance. They all apply in different situations. One is for Hoops and the other is for Kino Escalation, Text Messages/Phone Calls and Relationship Management

1) Playful IOD in hoop theory and back to attraction.

2) The Weird Behavior Phenomenon/Everything is cool in Kino escalation, Phone Call/Text Messages, Flakes and Relationship management.

Most of the second noncomplaince technique involves:Do not put energy into it. Do not deal with it. Do not react to it. Make everything cool and not a big deal. I never combat it.

Calling it weird is not combating it which is why I'm fascinated by this technique.

ex: not answering your question
Resp: "O I was just being polite."

1)In this example downgrading her like you did here works because she did not flake on you yet. She merely did not jump through your hoop. In this case you can playful IOD.

This technique however I do not think is useful for this example: If a girl flakes with a text message.

How I do it now: I do not make it seem like it affects me at all. I do not put energy into it. I make things seem like its all cool and unreactive. Maybe two days later, I'll text her something funny and cool after it blows over.

I used to try the first technique by saying something like a playful IOD immediately like "My mom warned me about girls like you". It doesn't work with a text message. Then I tried a non-sequitor text back almost immediately such as "Lucky Charms are magically delicious!" and it's better…but ultimately I found the best technique is I do not even acknowledge it.

How I came across this: I came to this conclusion partially because well I had to flake on a girl and felt really bad doing it. She texted me almost immediately and I felt so bad I did not even want to read her text message (Even though the text message was nice and friendly). I imagine this is what a girl is feeling but even worse because of their emotional nature.

If she is noncompliant to my kino escalation.

I would most certainly not use a playful IOD and make light of it.

What I do: I would just make it like nothing happened. This is not to say that I do not playfully IOD with the kino escalation or even blame her for the kino escalation. However after she doesn't comply to it. I just move on to something without even recognizing what happened and try later.

For example: She doesn't want to hold my hands. I will be look for something visual in the environment and comment on it. Be like "O my god, The Cheesecake factory I love that place....and move on"Same with if she doesn't call me back.I wouldn't downgrade her for not texting or calling back.What I do: I play it cool and unreactive, imagine nothing wrong has happened and that everything is cool. I call her back again and if she doesn't pick up then I make it seem like everything is cool. Maybe text her something cool and funny.However

Ultimately: If I'm not receiving any compliance for a while then I will text her, "That's it! We are so broken up! I want my CDs back" (Credit The Don)and I have always gotten a call back or text back from that.

In relationship management compliance, the everything cool technique is by far the best.

For example: I screwed up in a relationship for not calling her early enough on her graduation day. I basically called her on the phone and she was already angry at me. I thought this was stupid because I still called her on her graduation day just not early enough for her tastes. I ended up not picking up one of her calls later that day because of a reception problem but she thought I was ignoring her. She later sent me a text that said, "consider yourself single if you are just going 2 screen your calls, you might as well have the decency to say you are sorry and move on"

What I did: I called her and she didn't answer. Instead of sending her a playful IOD text like clear's about being a facebook friend. I said, "No big deal hun..everythings cool. im sorry i didnt call earlier. I take full responsibility.""I love you and I miss you so feel free to stay and if not feel free to leave"Which works out well.

Everythings COOL!

Puzzler