Reactionism

(An entry from a student who just wrote a girl he was seeing a relationship or nothing email)

My Response:

Sometimes in some situations you need to put it all out there even if you know it will damage you. Looking back I have had these situations but what they taught me is to learn how to "chill". I think that is the best advice for you man...chill out.

Reactionism is a PUAs worst enemy. If you are truly comfortable with yourself, other people will never be able to affect you. Look at how much power you gave her. By being affected by her you basically said that she is better than you and it is up to her to decide to stay or go.

I'm not going to bash you for this as I remember when I was going through a relationship about two years ago. I was so upset and I laid it all out there. The truth is, it just got worse, but I felt that my one shred of ego had needed to be validated and vindicated so with one swift brush I wrote an email similar to yours. After the fact, it made me realize how petty and insignificant all it is. Just because my girl didn't want a relationship with me, I didn't even want to be friends with her? How petty was I? I lost her and she hasn't spoken to me from that day forward. Just because one woman on a planet with over 3 billion of them didn't want a relationship with me it FORCED me to never want to see her again? All the times we spent for nothing? I just felt so petty because I felt that the email was so important but what I was really doing was fighting back because I was insecure and my ego was damaged from this woman.

That situation taught me a valuable lesson of rejection and never giving a woman that kind of power over me. Seriously would Brad Pitt ever write a message like this? I personally cherish the learning experience because it put me on the track of learning how to be comfortable with myself and who I am. Reactionism is the enemy here and shows a ton of insecurity.

Ironically, that's why women do it...so they can see the man that they want to be close to for what they really are. This is why this is not just an experience of girls but a life experience. I don't blame girls for doing this anymore, this is just their way of making sure their guy is sturdy and not made out of straw. If anything its just a hurdle to becoming a man and I would rather take these tests head on then going through life without them.

Don't let anybody affect you and please go through the rest of your life comfortable with yourself. This journey that you are undertaking is great in that you have reached a new point because my friend CHANGE only happens when you are either INSPIRED or DESPERATE. This situation can give you a new idea of what is going on.

I was examining the situation and I thought here is a guy who was in my previous situation. A good looking person with a lot going for him who felt a conviction to do something that he knew would hurt him but felt a need to do it. These needs are ego driven and hopefully this will give you some more perspective on the situation.

I think I made my point.

P